Cutting Services

The print edition of the Telegraph reports that police were called to an incident at a post office in Batley, Yorks, when Mubin Lahar was approached by two men carrying scissors who threatened to cut off his trousers.

On the basis that police, in investigating a crime, always look at possible motives - may I offer the following theory?

Mr. Lahar had gone to the post office in order to withdraw some money, a fact known by the assailants. Said assailants were in fact agents of MandelFoy who, as his wont and because he really can't help himself, decided that this was a case where he really could 'trouser' the proceeds.